Chaordic Mind

There’s an old poem that was originally meant to imply that “children should be seen and not heard.”  Though that analysis is an incorrect approach, one can apply the following words to so many situations.  This poem stood on the wall of my grandmother’s house for so long.  It’s another one of the items that has shaped me and my adoption of information and friends.

A wise old owl lived in an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can’t we all be like that wise old bird?

I believe strongly in the idea of listening before you speak.  Even when you feel that you know what the other person is thinking or feel you are right and need to tell them why, stop and listen.  Only when you fully understand the other person’s premises for debate can you finally engage.  Use the Socratic method.

Remember Mark Twain who said:

Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

(Re-post from an item written in August 2008)

We have been taking Swing dance lessons for what seems like almost a year and there’s a few things I’ve learned, outside of the technical aspects of the dance.

• Practice, practice, practice – So you want to look good, eh? You want to be “fluid” and “creative” with your moves? The practice. It’s only when you feel comfortable with each step and move that you can mix them all up. There is no better way to get comfortable with dancing than to dance.
• Pick out dance partners who are better than you – I know this is counterintuitive. Most people like dancing with those who are at the same level or worse than them, but this gets you nowhere. It’s only when you dance with people who are better than you that you begin to learn what they know.
• Dance with as many partners as you can – It does not matter if you are a lead or a follow, you need to be able to adapt your dance to anyone! This means dancing with as many people as possible do you can learn the wide range of ways people will dance. If you want to make it look good you need to be able to match your partner, not just perform choreographed moves.
• Do not stop, ever – This is the cardinal rule of dancing that even if you screw up just keep on going.  Don’t stop and try to start over just to get it right, as this will drive your partner crazy and make them not want to dance with you.
• Smile and look your partner in the eyes – Dancing is about having fun and how you feel about the dance is first visible on your face.  You should always smile and make eye contact with your partner to show them you are enjoying their presence.  This also takes away some potential stress and keeps the fun element present.
• Mix it up – Most people go with what they know, but this can be boring.  To keep things fun you cannot simply “loop” the four moves you know over and over.  It’s important to mix your moves so it appears more like fun and less like a choreographed skit.

“Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted if you didn’t have it.”

- Garrison Keillor, A Prairie Home Companion

One of my favorite rules to live by is that “nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer.”  This is a short story about how the underdogs leveraged their collective to create something much greater than the sum of their individual parts.  Security B-Sides was born out of a realization that all physical events are bound by two most structured rules, that of space and time.

No we are not talking about physics but the simple fact that regardless of the number of smart people in the world all physical events will only have enough physical room for X number of people across Y amount of time.  For many conferences this means physical walls constraining the number of presenters and attendees across a time period of a few days.  Thus a problem arises:  The scarcity of those limited seats increases in proportion to the interest in them.

The Internet is a natural solution with sites like BrightTALK hosting virtual conferences.  Online you are not limited by space and time with every piece of information now accessible any time of day to (virtually) anyone on the planet.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge advocate of social networking but I equally believe that in the absence of physical networking the online social world is little more than high-speed news flashes.  The ghost of the machine is the physical flesh and bone behind them.

Why Security B-Sides?

Security B-Sides is the first do-it-yourself (DIY), grass-roots, open security conference in the world.  B-Sides does to physical events what the Internet did to TV and radio — it expands the spectrum of conversation and gives voice to those further down the long tail.  These events are by security professionals and for security professionals.  It works like this:

1. Not many people have the experience to organize and host a conference.  In addition most events cost money and lots of it.
2. Oh sure, we could do it all for you but where would the fun be in that?
3. Instead of creating an event, we’ve created the infrastructure, tools, and documents, basically conference-in-a-box.  We are lowering the barrier to entry for anyone to create their own local event.
4. And let’s make it free, open to everyone, and publish all the details about how we did it online.

Yeah, that sounds a whole lot better.  Sounds easy huh?  Only by working together can we make the impossible easy.  Only through collaborative, chaordic design do we find order in chaos.  I greatly appreciate the following quote by Dee Hock, Founder and Chairman Emeritus, Visa Inc.

“It is no failure to fall short of realizing all that we might dream.

The failure is to fall short of dreaming all that we might realize”

Birth of a New Machine

I believe that small unconferences are the natural expansion of all events and have been for quite some time.  After the exclusive FOO Camp (Friends Of O’Reilly) a small collective used PBWorks to launch the Barcamp movement.  These small, 1-day events expand the level of physical interaction.  They are more than stuffy sales pitches but typically driven entirely by the geeks that love them.

It is by volunteers alone that these events occur, as people come together to create a day long shrine to knowledge and innovation.  Most recently ZACon, in South Africa,  launched with a great volume of speakers.  Most of the speakers and attendees helped organize the event in one way or another.  They published video recordings of all the talks along with their presentation materials online for free.

The geeks rise again as BSidesBay launches next Saturday (12/12) at HackerDojo in Mountain View, CA.  This event is a tribute to the DIY culture that exists in Silicon Valley and around the world.  Here’s how it works:

• How do I register? Add yourself to the list.
• How do I suggest topics? Add them to the list.
• What materials will be discussed? Check the list and bring your own ideas to share.
• Can I get a list of attendees? For sure, it’s all open and online.
• Will my friends be there? Only if you bring them or they forget to bring you.

Can events like this really work?  They can and do work very well.  Check it out and let us know what you think.

This is only the first of many Security B-Sides events.  Check out the main page and look follow information via twitter or the mailing list (low volume).

There once was a boy who wished to be immortal.  It was not until much later in his life that he learned the implications of such a wish and how to handle it actually coming true.

On Becoming Immortal

As a young boy he enjoyed reading comic books and walking to the park where he spent many sunny afternoons staring up into the sky and imagining what it would be like to have each of the various super powers that he read about in his comics.  He would replay parts of his life in his mind and interject a super power into the story.  One day was invisibility where he could hide from his parents and listen to them talk without either knowing he was there.  Another day his ability to fly enabled him to escape the local bully or soar to new places around the world which he had until then only ever watched on TV.

Of all the super powers he would imagine it is immortality that fascinated him the most.  With the ability to live forever he could accomplish anything.  He could save up his allowance in order to buy things he now only imagined.  He could visit every place he imagined flying and never run out of time.  Even at an early age he realized that the most precious thing we have as mortals is that of time.

His desire to use his time wisely drove and motivated him.  He worked hard growing up, hustling when necessary, to get ahead.  He studied in high school to get into college and there to get a good job.  With a job would come money and with that more time to spend as he wished.  His master plan was set in motion and nothing would stop him.  Nothing until that one fatal day that would derail his carefully crafted plans and change the course of his life forever.

Discovering Immortality

It was a sunny day and he was crossing his college campus considering yet another option for optimizing his life.  Wrapped up in though and reading a book while walking (to save time), he didn’t notice the crosswalk said STOP, nor did he notice the bus headed in his direction.  A screech of tires. He looked up just in time to see the bus hit him at 35 miles per hour.

The next thing he remembered was coughing very hard as he gasped for air.  A bright light shone in his eyes and for a moment he thought about the afterlife.  Then a shadow blotted out the sun and he saw the face of a stranger asking if he was OK.  He had just survived being thrown 50 feet down the street and landing on his back.  People stood around whispering in amazement.  He scrambled to his feet and quickly ran off to escape the attention.

That moment introduced him to his own super power – Immortality!  Finally, he would have the time and eventually the money to do anything and everything he ever wanted to.  Happiness was close at hand and he wanted it all.

Discovering What Happiness is Not

Over the years he began doing everything he ever wanted to.

• Explore the Wonders of the World? Check.
• Lead tours of the Trans-Siberian Railway? Check.
• Become conversationally fluent in Mandarin? Check.
• Hitchhike around the world? Check.

He would immerse himself in various projects and hobbies until he had mastered them and then move on to the next, only sometimes staying within any one realm for a prolonged number of years.  Each day was another opportunity to do something new and become better at the current task-de-jour.

As the years went by he began to amass great wealth and with money came the ability to do even more.  He never acquired goods for anything other than investing and cashing out decades later.  Instead he used his wealth to access items and events reserved for the rich and powerful.

• Richard Mille 012 Tourbillion watch? Check.
• Driving a Ferrari down the Champs-Élysées during Bastille Day? Check.
• Invitation to the Bohemian Club? Check.
• Invitation to the World Economic Forum in Davos? Check.

The list of invite-only luxury events and items seemed as endless as the original list of must-do events he had planned before the money poured in.  It was still not enough.  He wanted more but since his super power did not enable him to be in all places at the same time he found himself missing out on opportunities.  He missed the Renaissance in Europe because he was exploring the Himalayas for a few years.  He missed the 60s in San Francisco because he was teaching English in Japan for 10 years.  He missed the gathering of famous and influential people throughout history because he simply wasn’t in the right place at the right time.

As time passed he learned that he could not be everywhere at once nor could he predict where “the” place to be would happen next.  It was like a surfer who wanted to ride each major wave around the world but never knowing where they would be.  The longer he lived the more his realization of his eternal tomb began to crystallize.  He had accidentally stumbled upon his childhood dream and now his greatest dream had become his worst nightmare.

Discovering the Internet

The advent of the Internet brought with it the possibility of infinite, ubiquitous, real-time information to anyone at any time.  This seemed the solution to all his problems.  The immortal could now know the exact moment of every major event and would never miss a historical or exclusive event again.  There is a saying that “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men…”

The Internet brought with it the ability for him to know where and when each event was but it did not make him an organic part of it.  Instead of expanding the number of experiences he could have it only expanded the number of moments he could experience as a sideline bystander.  Instead of being a part of a movement he was now only an observer, lessening each experience as he raced to see them all.  The Internet had not improved his situation it only decreased the signal to noise ratio – introducing a greater number of less valuable experiences.

Discovering Happiness

It is said that immortality does not provide a solution, it only prolongs the problem.  The power of immortality brought with it many wonderful experiences but took away one very valuable experience – that of growing old.  Most of us do not look forward to growing old but each stage of live brings with it special lessons that are hard to learn until you arrive at that stage.  All of our life we are looking forward to the next thing: our first date, our first kiss, out first sexual experience, our next job, our fashion, our car, our wallet, our retirement, our vacation, our life ahead.  It is not until we come close to the end that we begin to reflect.

Becoming old and closer to death enables you to reflect in a way you never have before.  It’s not about reflecting on a moment or a relationship or a job.  It’s a much more holistic reflection on our life and times.  We begin to experience a regret not of commission but regrets of omission.  While we were looking forward to the next item and stage in life, what had we missed?

Around 300 BC it was Theophrastus who first wrote in Diogenes Laertius that “time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.”  This phrase has been repeated in various forms for over 2000 years.  The question yet asked is, if time is the most valuable thing to spend then what is the most valuable thing to spend it on?

Many answer this with the three traditional virtues of god, family, country.  I challenge there is a more basic element that makes up these three and all the other items of purchase for an immortal, one with infinite amounts of the most valuable currency.

Experience.  It’s that simple.

Experience

I challenge that experience is the most valuable thing one can buy with the most valuable thing one can spend, time.  By this I do not mean the experiences one can buy with money like a roller coaster ride, airline flight, or guided travel experience.  By experience I mean those impossibly personal and intimate moments that you can only achieve through time spent with another individual, learning a skill, or living as part of a culture.  It very much is the journey, not the destination.

There was once a book wherein the main character went sleep walking every night and every morning he woke up not knowing what happened the day before.  He went to a doctor and said he woke up bleeding, probably from a fight during his sleeping hours.  Instead of trying to cure this he told the doctor that to him experience was the most valuable item, so be it a great love of a bloody fight, which he had never experienced before, he wanted them all.

Although I do not condone fighting I do think we should all consider how we spend our time, who we spend it with and what we spend it doing.  Are you making the most out of your time?  Are you leveraging it to maximize your experiences?  Consider for a moment that you do not need more money or time, but need to learn how to better spend what you already have.

I sometimes reflect on the most influential themes in my life and decided to list a few here.  Of the many people I have crossed paths with in life each has passed along some bit of advice or action that I’ve learned from.  Sometimes these lessons come by means of a message or characteristic that I want to emulate or avoid.  The following are three of the most critical rules by which I’ve learned to live.

1. Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer

My Mom always believed in me even when there was no reason to.  Many times she would tell me that I can do anything I put my mind to.  She really had no reason to say this to me.  As a child she had never seen me accomplish something wonderful or amazing.  She did not base her beliefs on past experience and well calculated prediction models.  She based them on faith.

One day she bought me a t-shirts that read “future Nobel Prize winner.”  My mother is a woman of faith which is the only reason I can give for such action and belief.  Perhaps the only things parents ever can have is faith, but she repeated it to me so many times that even I began to believe.  I learned that always there would be people smarter, faster, or more creative than me.  It was that faith that gave me the secret weapon of brute force.

I would try longer, harder, and with more ferocity than others because I knew that I could achieve anything I put my mind to.  I am still of the belief that even if you do not know the right direction to go, it is better to run as hard as you can in the direction you think is right.  The faster you find the wrong path, the sooner you will turn around and run towards the right one.  Life is too short to ever simply wait and hope for the best.

Victory goes to those who believe in the impossible.

2. Learn the good, avoid the bad

I recall vividly driving to work with my Dad one day and he told me something in passing as part of a rare father-son moment.  He told me that I would come across all types of people in my life, but I would be most successful if I incorporated into my life the positive good they expressed and learned to avoid the bad.  That little talk may seem rather benign, and even writing it now sound like simple advice, but put into practice it can be a very powerful tool.

I believe that in each of us there is the ability for great good and great evil.  We express this in part by our actions or lack thereof.  I know that I cannot live a thousand lifetimes but I can learn from the lives of thousands of others.  I can listen to their stories, observe their actions, and learn to incorporate into mine the very best of each.

Call it the Highlander of social interactions, but it works.

3. Never stop improving

I once wanted to be a writer.  Not a blogger but a writer of books.  In my search I called people I knew who were great presenters and writers.  I recall pacing the hallway of an office building in Chicago when I called Richard Thieme and talked with him about my desires to become a writer.  He told me one very valuable thing.

“Never stop improving.”  He said that the moment you stop improving in your writing, or any domain for that matter, is the moment you might want to consider moving on to a new one.  I believe he is correct.  I believe to stagnate is to die the slow and painful death of mediocrity.

Genius vs Insanity

Remember that the line between genius an insanity is short, but so is the line between good and great.  Many people in this world are good at what they do but so very few are truly great.  The reason for this is not because they lack the skills but because the refuse to apply the skills.  The reason people do not become great is because they think is impossible, they do not learn from others, or they simply give up.

Begin each day by asking yourself if today is going to be a good day or a great one.

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” – Frederick Nietzsche

In this week’s This American Life, David Rakoff reads from his “Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace” wherein he tell the tale of the scorpion and tortoise.  Some people prefer the saying, “fooled once shame on you, fooled twice shame on me.”  Whatever your version, I find this story very telling of life and how one should learn from their mistakes.

The scorpion was hamstrung, his tail all aquiver;

just how would he manage to get across the river?

“The water’s so deep,” he observed with a sigh,

which pricked at the ears of the tortoise nearby.

“Well why don’t you swim?” asked the slow-moving fellow,

“unless you’re afraid. I mean, what are you, yellow?”

“It isn’t a matter of fear or of whim,”

said the scorpion,

“but that i don’t know how to swim.”

“Ah, forgive me. I didn’t mean to be glib when

I said that. I figured you were an amphibian.”

“No offense taken,” the scorpion replied,

“but how about you help me to reach the far side?

You swim like a dream, and you have what I lack.

Let’s say you take me across on your back?”

“I’m really not sure that’s the best thing to do,”

said the tortoise, “now that I see that it’s you.

You’ve a less than ideal reputation preceding:

there’s talk of your victims all poisoned and bleeding.

You’re the scorpion — and how can I say this — but, well,

I just don’t feel safe with you riding my shell.”

The scorpion replied, “What would killing you prove?

We’d both drown, so tell me: how would that behoove

me to basically die at my very own hand

when all I desire is to be on dry land?”

The tortoise considered the scorpion’s defense.

When he gave it some thought, it made perfect sense.

The niggling voice in his mind he ignored,

and he swam to the bank and called out: “Climb aboard!”

But just a few moments from when they set sail,

the scorpion lashed out with his venomous tail.

The tortoise too late understood that he’d blundered

when he felt his flesh stabbed and his carapace sundered.

As he fought for his life, he said, “tell me why

you have done this! For now we will surely both die!”

“I don’t know!” cried the scorpion. “You never should trust

a creature like me because poison I must!

I’d claim some remorse or at least some compunction,

but I just can’t help it; my form is my function.

You thought I’d behave like my cousin, the crab,

but unlike him, it is but my nature to stab.”

The tortoise expired with one final quiver.

And then both of them sank, swallowed up by the river.

The tortoise was wrong to ignore all his doubts —

because in the end, friends, our natures wins out.

What lesson it there to learn from this?  I learned my lesson from the above, but David sees a much rosier side to it all than I do.  The following is his lesson to all.

So: what can we learn from their watery ends?

Is there some lesson on how to be friends?

I think what it means is that central to living

a life that is good is a life that’s forgiving.

We’re creatures of contact, regardless of whether

we kiss or we wound. Still, we must come together.

Though it may spell destruction, we still ask for more —

since it beats staying dry but so lonely on shore.

So we make ourselves open while knowing full well

it’s essentially saying, “please, come pierce my shell.”